i read over my post from yesterday.
i’m not calm, cool or collected.
and you know what?
i’m becoming more and more ok with this, with being not ok.
i didn’t ask to be gaslight, emotionally, verbally, physically and spiritually abused as a child. i didn’t ask to have unresolved childhood trauma inflict the wounds of self-doubt, self-judgment, self-hate upon my tender soul. i didn’t ask for these un-understood and therefore unknown childhood wounds to impact my decision to marry an abuser and continue to live in harm’s way.
this legacy is not one i asked for or one i deserve and i think its high time i stop feeling shitty for the trauma, the self-doubt, the ptsd i may live with until i die… they are not things i ever need feel ashamed of — only things my abusers tried to sell me shame about so they could maintain control and power.
i need to be done feeling bad about, feeling less than because other people decided to misuse and abuse my tender, loving heart all those years.
and i deserve to be done feeling bad about the after-affects of harm done to me.
#Self-Compassion … it’s a very, very good thing.