Last year I sought a word of intention for the upcoming year. Instead I received Consciously Connecting; Being Here Now. I embraced it to the fullest.
In moments when I’d become aware I’d checked out of the present moment and be able to gently turn my focus back into now, magic was always there. Always.
~ Like the time I was in the front yard working on the yard, feeling quite anxious and disconnected from myself, when my partner called me over to him. My initial internal response was to decline the invitation to connect but Consciously Connecting reminded me to walk over to him with an open heart instead. What happened? He turned me towards the east saying, “Look, a rainbow!” and, as he pulled me against me and rested his chin on my shoulder I smiled, grateful for the magic of being in his arms, the magic of rainbows and sharing a life with someone who finds them as wonderful as I do. Staying Consciously Connected allowed me to have that moment of small, but needed, magic with him.
~ Or the time I was working nose-to-the-grindstone on a project when I decided that, instead of eating lunch while I worked, I needed to take a moment to rest and reconnect with myself and my world. My phone and computer were left to wait, so were my glasses and shoes. I sat outside, feet on the Earth, plate balanced precariously on my knees. Eating slowly, savoring the sensations and flavors. Listening carefully, there was a light breeze rustling through the tall pines that afternoon. Witnessing with gratitude, my world without distraction. A robin came and watched me eat. That summer he became a daily visitor. A couple of times a week I’d eat outside with his company. As the summer wore on he’d hop ever so slightly closer to me, stand still and cock his head sideways looking at me as if to say “Hi Kate, how’s your day going?” Those afternoon visits with my new friend were magical. They blessed me.
Moments like these happened because I had a focus for the year.
As December came to a close I began to consider what 2016 was whispering it held for me. My teenage daughter asked me, “Mom, what’s your New Year’s Resolution?” Not usually being one for resolutions my first thought was to tell her I don’t like them but then I remembered my intent to Consciously Connect, to Be Here Now with her. As a mother that means meeting my child where she’s at, exploring things as come up for her. So I got quiet for a moment, opening up soul-space for her question. There, in that brief moment of accepting quiet a resolution came up:
To not give up on myself. Meaning that I keep working on my goals, moving towards my dreams – no matter how many times I face set-backs, lose a day (or week) to unwellness or trauma symptoms. I don’t give up on myself.
Holy cow. That flowed out in that disarming way only things straight from inner Divine truth do.
I was startled.
She smiled, “Nice!”
Yeah, nice! A resolution that’s an affirmation and a safety net to hold onto in the dark moments of chronic illness and ptsd. nice.
I began hunkering down for real about discerning a word or phrase for 2016. This year I utilized Susannah Conway’s Find Your Work eCourse. Day 2 with it’s journey through hopes and dreams pulled me gently into the soul-space needed to listen, to hear my word.
I resisted it for a while. At first it seemed passive like settling or giving up. Then I got out the dictionary and thesaurus to learn more about this word. A few things I found about the word Contentment that drew me closer:
Synonyms for contentment include:
Repletion? It’s a Middle Enligsh word meaning “
Day 4 offered a mandala coloring page to use as a meditative method for diving deeper into this journey. In that meditative space I was able to trust myself and my word.
Then my friend Sera shared that she was engaging in this program call the 100 Day Promise. I trust Sera. She is hardcore, a bad-ass delving into soul-space. I checked it out and guess what? …
This year’s theme is Living Abundance. I’m not even fucking kidding. What?!?
From January 1 until April 10, 2016 you will give your energy and attention to abundance, specifically from its original Latin meaning abundantia, fullness or plenty.
My plate is already really full. Like over-flowing onto the table and sometimes even the floor flow. I signed up anyway. Maybe I’m losing my grip? Maybe I’m grasping at straws.
Maybe I’m ready to dive deeper into finding a abundance of healing and grace this year.
Yeah, that’s it.
Well, I have lost my grip a bit to take on this program on top of all the other commitments I have too, but that’s not the point. The point is, I’m ready for an abundant life full of contentment, peace, and equanimity.